Last night, after Thanksgiving dinner, my mother announced she was going to cut her hair.
"I'm too old to have my hair down my back like this!"
My brother and I protested at once. "You are not too old, Mom. You can wear your hair any way you like". And we meant it.
My mother's hair is black streaked with silver, plaited in a braid that hangs to her waist. My brother says it sometimes reminds him fondly of those ladies in Bolivia who wear the little felt bowler hats with their long braided hair. More often, she is mistaken for Italian.
She sighs heavily, and points out that we can barely remember her wearing her hair any other way, and isn't that a sign it's time to change?
I have always loved my mother's long hair, I must confess. But I think I can relate to how she feels.
Having liberated my own self of fourteen inches of hair just a few short years ago, I can also say that it could be a wonderful freeing thing for her to have that new look.
I used to have very long hair. I loved it. A small child told me I had hair like a waterfall. It was part of my identity. I was the Girl with Long Hair. It was like a talisman, I think.
But then one day, something in me changed. I held my heavy ponytail in my hand and felt a surge of relief and freedom. And I've never gone back.
Long hair can be beautiful, sure, but it also tangles into rats nests, gets caught in the car door, takes a day to dry, yanks your head back when you sit on it, and does NOT appreciate windy days.
Also, the lovely Kate Beckinsale,her hair cut in a dark bob in the movie Underworld helped my resolve immensely.
So, Mom, if you want to cut your hair to be new and different and happy, go right ahead. I'll understand.
But you're NOT old.
4 comments:
A few years ago, I had very long hair, which I loved immensely. Not so long as your's, Spider, but long enough.
Then, someone who was very special to me died. I was overcome with grief, and I didn't know how to express it fully -- I cried, but it was such a superfical and fleeting expression. Tears dry. I needed something more active, more savage, to reflect how I felt in my heart.
I found myself in front of the bathroom mirror, a pair of dull scissors in one hand, and my severed hair in the other. Slicing off my hair became a symbolic action; I had cut the ties which had bound me too tightly to the past. I could move forward again.
By no means did I do a GOOD job. It looked like a drunken madman had taken a pair of shears to my head. But it was so liberating. I was someone new again.
So I wish your mom all the best in cutting her hair, and feeling vivacious (although I fully concur, your mother is FAR from old!) Plus, it gives her the opportunity to donate her hair to charity, so that someone else can feel beautiful, too!
Ah, a charity.
That's a brilliant idea!
I think you've got two questions going on here. One is the haircut question, but that's not the important one. The big one is your mother wanting to feel better about herself, not just old and uninteresting. The proposed haircut is just the tip of this iceberg, and it might work. But it might not, or the lift might be temporary .
What is more likely to work is that the people who love her reassure her that she is still wonderful and loved. Spending special time with her--a regular meal together (that she doesn't have to prepare), or going together to do something she likes to do will be more helpful than a one-time event like a haircut.
Is there a man (your dad?) still in her life? If so, get him involved in helping her feel better about herself.
If she's single the companionship and reassurance that she's fun to be with may be what she's missing. You, her children can help her with that immensely. Good luck. This is not going to be solved in one day or by one trip to a salon.
Anne.
I think you've got two questions going on here. One is the haircut question, but that's not the important one. The big one is your mother wanting to feel better about herself, not just old and uninteresting. The proposed haircut is just the tip of this iceberg, and it might work. But it might not, or the lift might be temporary .
What is more likely to work is that the people who love her reassure her that she is still wonderful and loved. Spending special time with her--a regular meal together (that she doesn't have to prepare), or going together to do something she likes to do will be more helpful than a one-time event like a haircut.
Is there a man (your dad?) still in her life? If so, get him involved in helping her feel better about herself.
If she's single the companionship and reassurance that she's fun to be with may be what she's missing. You, her children can help her with that immensely. Good luck. This is not going to be solved in one day or by one trip to a salon.
Anne.
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