Monday, October 24, 2005

Cow-Related Mayhem



So I was picking Jeff up from work today, and I got there a little early. I sat down to surf on the spare computer there and happened to look out the front window.

"Hey! Look, cows!" said Jeff at the same time as I noticed the procession of confused cattle that had suddenly appeared.

Twenty some-odd cows lumbered along the side of the road and there wasn't a single cowboy in sight. Traffic came to a halt as they barged their way across two lanes and disappeared in the direction of the city's main bridge.

Uh oh. This couldn't be good for rush hour.

Where had they come from? We're not THAT rural and down-town is only one block away.There are no cattle farms close by, and I'd just driven down that stretch of road without seeing any cows whatsoever, or any evidence of say, a cattle-truck over-turned.

As we were pondering the whys of it, a little brown heifer skipped right by the office window and headed in the opposite direction of the other cows. I decided to follow it and see if I could figure out where it had come from.

By this time there were several police cars stopping traffic in both directions. There was more snarled traffic and another ten cows or so cavorting further up the road. Attempts by police officers to grab them seemed fruitless.

I slowly followed the heifer as it trotted down to the river by the Monte Cristo Restaurant.

Two chefs in tall white hats, a lady from the real-estate office across the street, one local farm-hand, some large river-birds and me watched as the little cow plunged into the water and cow-paddled to the other side.

"Did you know cows could swim?", said one chef.
"I do now", nodded the other.

The cows had beef-tags clipped in their ears, somebody noted. Maybe they had just decided to make a break for it.

Meanwhile, calls were coming over the police radio that more cows had been sighted in two down-town parks nearby. Cow-sighting bulletins were announced on the radio. It was obvious the stopped traffic was going nowhere soon.

We started home in the opposite direction from our usual way, the only way possible, and circled through town on a most mercifully cow-free route.

16 comments:

Tai said...

"Cow-sighting bulletins".

*ahem*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*cough*

snort...

"Honestly ossifer, I didn't see that cow dere...it ran into me!! Honest!"

angel, jr. said...

Did they ever figure out where they came from? What happened to them?

Spider Girl said...

I'm still not sure what was up with the cows all over, but I'm sure it will make the newspapers. In my town, it certainly will. :)

I'll keep ya posted.

blackcrag said...

Cows downtown? I think it was very dairy, I mean daring, of them to brave the afternoon traffic.

And you just drove away? You didn’t ask them to moo-ve along? You didn’t try to find out what their beef was? How unusually inconsiderate of you, Spider. Maybe the didn’t stop to chew the cud with you.

Personally, I think the whole thing is udderly ridiculous.

Pol* said...

That is just TOO funny!!!!
I laughed and laughed ~ sniff ~

Greg - Cowboy in the Jungle said...

LOL...

Cows are so funny. I don't know why!

nisha said...

I knew it! I KNEW IT! They're TAKING OVER THE WORLD! hahahahahaha!

Laura:) said...

lol, I agree. Very weird.

Bill said...

Invasion of the cows, News at eleven.

That is hilarious!

H.E.Eigler said...

Good Lord, I can see it now! Too funny! Or, punny in the case of blackcrag...

Connie and Rob said...

That sounds like something from a movie. Are you sure you were maybe just trying to think of an excuse to take a break from your desk? Very anxious to hear where the moos were from!
Connie

Spider Girl said...

Heh, I was right. The cow story made the front page of our newspaper today.

Seems the steers escaped from a transport truck although the details were pretty sketchy.

The article also noted that the RCMP's skills in steer-rustling were a little rusty. :)

Logan Clark said...

I have seen a couple of cows escape from a butcher to wander the town and I have seen a herd of cows wandering on the roads in the country, but never have I seen a herd wandering the streets even in my backwater town.

You are one of the fortunate few.

skullcrushergurl said...

whoa....freaky. Maybe they got loose.

mysterious in blue said...

what a funny story! i'm rooting for the cows :).

robin said...

how wonderfully odd...