Shall I Start Out with the "Serengeti Loo Song" Perhaps?

This trip to Africa was probably the most amazing trip I've ever been on. I kept a really good hand-written journal while I was away too, which took some dedication, believe me. Have you ever tried to write while sitting in a post-apocalyptic Mad-Max-type vehicle that is rocketing over the pot-holes of Tanzanian bush-roads? The secret is printing in block capitals. Block capitals and lots of strategic pauses, my friends.

So my experiences are all down in black and white, I suppose, and should be easy to copy down verbatim into a blog, but somehow I feel that I am going to be more anecdotal around here, and to heck with chronological order.

For instance, today was my first day back at work at the daycare and so I found myself inflicting my singing on my co-workers. Yes, singing the song I composed while backing away from glowing animal eyes one early morn on the Serengeti plain. Whistling in the dark, as it were. :)

You see, on this trip we did some bush-camping, meaning that we put up our tents in areas where wild animals could roam freely. There were no fences or barriers to prevent anything from snuffling right into your sleeping-bag were they determined enough. We know there ARE animals nearby because we had just finished our game drive by a buffalo herd only a few hundred feet away and there are quite a lot of animal droppings all around.

So there were some basic safety rules to follow (instructions given with a cheerful Australian accent so we know that the chances of ACTUALLY getting eaten are slim):

We set up our tents in a circle with all the doors facing in. We were not to have anything remotely edible (even toothpaste) in our tents. If you had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, don't go alone. You and your bathroom-buddies should scan your surroundings with a flashlight as you go and be on the look-out for animal eyes.

Here's the thing about glow-in-the-dark eyes. If they are yellow or green you are probably okay;they probably don't belong to a predator (although it could still be something cantankerous and dangerous like a buffalo or hippo), but if the eyes are red you should back away slowly and NOT run away because that would make you look like prey. Yum yum.

Okay, so there we were in the early morning hours. It's dark out but nature is calling. The three of us have just finished in the lovely squat toilets that are way too far away from the tent area for a reason, and my sister-in-law Jen has just finished being surprised by a bat that flew OUT of the toilet-hole.

We are giggling about the bat and we swing our flashlight round and there are GLOWING EYES nearby. Quick, quick, what colour? Ah, green. Probably okay. But we still don't know what sort of animal it is....er, let's walk away...casually.. So we do.

A little tune just sort of pops into my head and out a song springs fully formed. The inspiration of nervous adrenalin.

(cough cough) Ahem. The Serengeti Loo Song goes like this:


We're casually walking away
We're casually walking away
So we don't look like prey
We're casually walking away

And if the eyes are yellow
We breathe a sigh of relief
Cuz if they're red
I guess we're dead
We're casually walking away

We all want to see a lion
But not on the way to the loo!
If fact we're happy to see nothing at all
Except maybe some animal poo

We're casually walking away
We're casually walking away
So we don't look like prey
We're casually walking away!


Well, it's not Andrew Lloyd Webber, but it DID fit the occasion. And it has a catchy tune. :)

I sang it to Tai at dinner (after my darling friend picked us all up at the airport), and she nearly choked on her prawns the poor girl was laughing so hard.

As for my own particular trip, only one person (hi Lizzie!) saw anything coming out of their tent. It was a hyena, which is not a good thing to meet, but luckily the hyena went on its way and Lizzie decided she really didn't need to pee that badly so it all ended well.

Apparently,on one trip a wild pig got inside someone's tent and it panicked and ended up running out the back of the tent. That was pretty much it for the poor tent.

On another over-lander trip, a couple was making out near the campfire after everyone else had gone to bed, when a couple of lions walked by SO close they were BETWEEN the people and the campfire. Well, so much for a romantic evening. They totally forgot about the don't- run -away -and -look- like- prey rule and high-tailed it into the tent where they spent the rest of the trip crying and would only come out for psychiatric therapy.

Awww....and I only got to see EYES.