Thursday, January 31, 2008

Aquacize


There are not many occasions in January for which I'll don a bathing suit.
For instance, traditional New Year's Day Polar Bear swim down at Goose Spit?
Uh uh. No way.
Are those people insane?
Nope, I don't care for winter-time beach fun much I have to say.
But I guess I'll put on a bathing suit (somewhat reluctantly I'll admit) if I'm indoors. And the pool is heated. And if I have a friend who invites me to go a-aquacizin' with her. And if I talk myself into it.
Yep, Tuesday night is Aquacize Night at the local pool, and I thought I'd give it a try because:
a) Melanie is my friend and I want to hang out and talk with her more
b) it sounded kind of fun despite the whole sorry mental bathing-suit/body-image/skin that glows white-in-the-dark thing
c) exercising in a pool means there is no sweatiness involved
d) Note to self: Go bathing-suit shopping and find something like the 1920's suit pictured here. Elegant. Refined. Covers one's butt completely. It's all I ask of a bathing-suit.
What I Learned:
a) The aquacize class is actually called The Power Hour ....because it is...an hour. And it's well, vigorous. Non-stop. Taxing. ( How do all the little old ladies who take these sorts of classes do it?) Hey, wasn't there some sort of bizarre evangelical television program called "The Power Hour"....hmmm...
Anyhoo, whatever happened to the Twenty-minute Workout-and Go-Relax-in-the-Hot-Tub class? The instructor actually smiled as she told us, "I'm not paid to be merciful."
b) Despite the initial shock of having to exercise harder than I have in (*gulp*) quite a while, it is actually quite fun thrashing around underwater to songs from Flashdance and the extended dance-mix version of I Will Survive .
c) You can't sink if you try with one of those floater-belts around your waist. Which is a good thing when you're like me and sinking is mostly what you can skillfully do in a pool.
d) LEAD WITH THOSE OBLIQUES! SQUEEZE THOSE GLUTES!
DOUBLE-TIME! MORE! FASTER! COME ON, YOU PEOPLE! GOGOGOGOGO!
e) If, like myself, you suffer from Aerobic-Class Choreography Dyslexia where your legs jump out when the instructor's legs jump in, and your arms want to go in exactly the opposite directions as being demonstrated at the front of the class, this might be the kind of class for you. You're underwater. Nobody can see you thrashing around.
And that's a GOOD thing. :)

9 comments:

グラント said...

It's not that you don't sweat during aquacize, the water just washes it away so that you're sitting in a mix of H2O, chlorine, and other people's sweat. Likewise, remember that there is no non-peeing section of the pool. The same body of water touching you is also in contact with everybody's genitals. Have fun floundering in the sweaty vagina water. =)

Spider Girl said...

Thanks, Grant.

*hands over ears* La la la la la: I can't hear you. :)

Tai said...

LOL!!!
So...you'll be going again? I mean, inspite of Grant?

Pol* said...

RESISTANCE.... that's what the water offers to the workout.

Grant is mean.

I am also glow-in-the-dark (with the added ewwww of back acne and a few vericose veins) so bathing suits are NOT my friend anymore.

I really don't know how the old ladies do it, but Hoorah for them!

Jocelyn said...

This is so funny. I've done both extremes of aquasizing--and the more memorable one wasn't the hard workout but the one where it was just me and 10 eighty-year-old women clacking about who'd lost a gall bladder lately.

Keep going! It could be a rich experience.

Sugar said...

Good for you! Have fun with it! And stop worrying about what you look like in a bathing suit - life's too short.

kimber the wolfgrrrl said...

That sounds FANTASITIC! If you ever go again, give me a call -- by comparison, I'll make you look positively tanned. :D

adman said...

Actually, dear sister, "The Power Hour" was Much Musics 60 minute homage to heavy metal videos in the 1980'2-1990's....perhaps they should pipe some Iron Maiden into the pool to get the old girls really going!

Hageltoast said...

lmao, nice.