My mother-in-law and her visitors from Australia popped by my house today and brought me a really unique present: a bee house, complete with sleeping resident queen bee and court inside. (Not our regular local honey-bees apparently, which are low in numbers this year due to a virus, but another kind (mason bees?) who will help out with cross-pollinating and other necessary bee chores and return to the bee house each year in theory. They purchased them locally so I will have to find out more about them.)
Our Aussie friends noticed that I seemed to have quite a few bees tumbling about the blossoms in my garden and we got to talking about local insects and other wildlife. They gave a collective shudder. Apparently Jeff's mom took them on a nature walk today and they still had the heebie-jeebies from the experience.
No, they didn't see bears. Or cougars. Or a fierce squirrel. Or even a bunny rabbit with big pointy teeth.
But they DID see lots of spiders. And snakes.
And apparently seeing spiders and snakes in Australia means you had better turn tail and run the other way, or otherwise prepare to perish horribly from some ungodly neuro-toxin.
Reassurances that our local reptiles and arachnids are not only utterly harmless (mostly), but downright helpful and welcome in the garden were met with skepticism.
I laughed a little. I would have thought living in Australia would make strolling around in Canada a breeze--maybe boasting a little like Steve Irwin or Crocodile Dundee as they inspect the webs in my garden: "That's not a spider....(then pointing to a random arachnid on Australia's poisonous spiders identification chart)... THIS is a spider!"
But realizing I really had very little knowledge of their country I sought out the advice of the online Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy to see what that wise tome had to say:
Tips to Surviving Australia
Don't ever put your hand down a hole for any reason whatsoever.
We mean it.
The beer is stronger than you think, regardless of how strong you think it is.
Always carry a stick.
Air-conditioning.
Do not attempt to use any Australian slang, unless you are a trained linguist and good in a fistfight.
Thick socks.
Take good maps. Stopping to ask directions only works when there are people nearby.
If you leave the urban areas, carry several litres of water with you at all times, or you will die.
Even in the most embellished stories told by Australians, there is always a core of truth that it is unwise to ignore.
See also: Deserts: How to die in them, The Stick - second most useful thing ever and Poisonous and Venomous arachnids, insects, animals, trees, shrubs, fish and sheep of Australia, volumes 1 - 42.
8 comments:
Someone was telling me about local bees you could get.. black ones that pollinate but don't sting. Maybe Donna Z.
"Spiders are the good guys"...a mantra my ex used to drill into me, until I almost began to believe it. Almost; at least I stopped having nightmares about them after repeating that for several years. Sounds like I'm kidding, but...
...but I'm thinking, after this post, I'll skip Australia. Your survival guide had nothing to say about cute little koala bears.
A friend of the family from New Zealand was showing us pictures of his garden, and I pointed out the long black garden hose which he must've hung from the tree to dry. He laughed before correcting me -- it was a monstrous snake which lived under the garden shed.
Better in a garden than on a plane, I suppose.
But what about the towel??
I guess it could be worse than the current Canadian moose infestation.
Happy Evilus (06/06/06). >=)
always carry a stick :)
Hey Spider Girl!
Thanks for the tips!
I'll be visiting Australia next year.
Your Pal,
Zambo.
I have HUNDREDS of Mason bees at my house, they love it here and have made little busy homes in evey nook and cranny they can find.....
Great post on Australia, I was just tonigh gazing out into my yard thinking how luchy we are to live in a place of relatively few "accidental" deaths by insects and reptiles. Its the bears and cougars here and we always find them and kill them if the have the "nerve" to attack. Incedently I knew that the cougar was back in the creek around here because of the missing cats posters on the mailboxes, 3 weeks before the official sighting notice. Poor poodies.
I find most insects and reptiles around here just fine thank you.
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